February 2nd. It's a tough day for our family. 6 Years ago today, we went to the hospital to visit our 1 month old daughter, Halee. She had not left the hospital since she was born and on this day was having her third heart surgery of her short life. We went to the hospital with hopes of brining our daughter home soon, but we left there with the numbing reality that she would never come home with us. Instead, in the middle of her surgery, she went to a much better home than we could have ever provided for her.
Our pain eases with the passing of each year, but there are still those moments of sorrow that catch me by surprise; little things that sear my heart when I least expect them. In a strange sort of way, I've grown to welcome those moments, as they remind me of the love I have for Halee, even though I didn't have her long.
More than anything, I have the joyous hope that one day I will see her again. I have a post-it note stucking out the side of my bible. It's been there since shortly after Halee died. The edge of the neon green note is faded and frayed. It's starting to tear, but I won't remove it. It marks a small portion of a verse where King David is speaking of his infant son that has died. His words are my words, and they give me hope of a day to come...
2 Samuel 12:23b "I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
I know that Halee will not return to me, but one day, I will go to her. What a day that will be!