Sunday, January 04, 2009

What Lies Beneath

Isn't that movie title? I have a different interpretation. Beneath meaning "underfoot". Underfoot meaning "on the bottom of your shoe". In my case, the answer to the question of what lies beneath is... dog poop. Yes it's true, pastor's wives occasionally are forced to use the word poop and I'll add that you should be thankful I didn't decide to call this post, "Crappy New Year".

On New Year's Eve I left work early so I could pick up some pop and junk food at the grocery story and still be home in time to tidy up and get ready for our party that was starting at 6pm.

I was heading home and feeling good about my preparations. I just needed to stop and pick up crushed ice and would still have plenty of time when I got home to prepare food and double check that the house was clean. Then the call from The Pastor came.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"The mini-mart, getting ice. Why?"

"Can you see if they have any carpet cleaner"

"Why?" I repeated nervously.

He sheepishly answered, "Well, I just stepped in dog poop."

"Okaaay?" I didn't like the sounds of this.

Even more sheepishly he said, "I walked through the house with it on my shoe....actually several times, Umm actually, both shoes. It's everywhere."

It was an hour and a half until guests were to arrive. When I got home and opened the front door, the odor hit me like a brick wall. My entire house...the house I was hosting a party for over 20 people in (in one and half hours) smelled like a sewer treatment plant.

I spent my precious free time before the party not casually preparing plates of hors d'oeuvers, but frantically scrubbing poop out of the living room, lighting candles, spraying room freshener, mopping the kitchen, etc....

By the time people started getting there, I was exhausted. Only 6 hours til midnight and I wanted a nap. Luckily the efforts payed off and with the food, air freshener and open windows, the smell was eradicated with only a few throw rugs as casualties. I gave The Pastor a TPL (terrifying private lecture) about checking his shoes better before entering the house and all in all the night was a success.

I hope your New Year's Eve got off to a better start than mine. Crappy New Year! (sorry, I couldn't resist)


Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, Cari ... I am SO sorry that happened ... but thankful too ... because it brought a wonderful laugh to my afternoon! Perfectly written and so relatable! Hopefully, you're at the point where you can look back and laugh ... if you're not there yet, just read your story ... it's great! :-)

Cari Johnson said...

Ha! Thanks. I think I can finally laugh, but it took some serious junk food eating and video game playing with my friends to get over it! I'm glad you could get a good laugh out of the chaos that is my life. It's par for the course around here. :-)


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