Have you ever said something and even as it's rolling off your tongue, you realize that perhaps you've made a mistake? Of course you have. We all have. Unfortunately, it happened to me recently and was accompanied by some serious ramifications.
I think it was initially bitterness and a crabby mood that made me blurt out to The Pastor, "Fine," (you know any sentence that begins like that is already doomed) "If you want an outdoor wife, you're going to get one. I'm going to Cabela's and I'm buying a gun. And, I'm buying camo pants and a camo jacket, boots, gloves and the whole nine yards. I'm going to be the most outdoor wife you've ever seen!"
I'm pretty sure you can already see the problem. It's possible there was a tinge of sarcasm in my statement, but yes, I did say it. The Pastor has been threatening to buy me a gun for our full 20 years of marriage. In fact, he did buy me a .22 for Mother's Day one year, but that hasn't satisfied his urge for me to own a "real" gun.
I made this slip of the tongue last Saturday. All week long he looked at guns and talked about what I should I get. I knew I was doomed, so I began to pray about it, realizing just how important this was to him. I asked the Lord to forgive me of my bitterness and change my heart. Late, Thursday afternoon The Pastor announced we should go to Coeur d'Alene. He didn't say why and I didn't ask, but I knew what was coming. I put on a pink shirt, lip gloss, and my girliest earrings. At least if I was going gun shopping, I would look as ladylike as possible.
We drove straight to Black Sheep Sporting Goods and I followed The Pastor in as he marched up to the gun counter. My heart started to pound. There was no foreseeable way out of this, but there was the possibility we were just looking. He asked the guy behind the counter to see a certain Remington. The guy handed it to The Pastor, who in turn handed it to me. It was surprisingly light. I awkwardly put it up to my shoulder in a "shooting" position. I heard The Pastor tell the gun guy, "It's going to be awhile," and I breathed a sigh of relief, although another emotion accompanied it and it scared the heck out of me. It was faint, but I felt disappointed.
I knew how badly The Pastor wanted to buy me a gun (He was quite giddy that we were even looking at them) and I actually felt a little bad we weren't going to walk out of the store with one. Was it possible God was softening my heart to this? I handed it back to him and I thought he was going to say something to me. Instead, he turned, handed the gun back to the gun guy and said, "We'll take it."
Immediately, my emotions did a flip flop. I was stunned, but I filled out the paperwork and a few minutes later, I walked out with a gun, a shoulder strap thingy, and a case. I couldn't believe that I'd been complaining for the last year and a half that we need a new computer and we had just purchased a Remington rifle in 15 minutes flat.
I made The Pastor take me to the Outdoor Clothing Outlet, because I told him there was no way I was getting the gun if he wasn't buying me some clothes to go with it. The first thing we picked out was a pink hat with the Remington logo on the front. The next day, I shot my new gun four times (first shot scared me to death!) and then went to town and bought new pair of big, silver, hoop earrings.
I asked The Pastor why he told the gun guy at the Black Sheep that "it was going to be awhile" if he knew we were going to buy the riflethat day.
"I wasn't talking about buying the gun," he said. "I was talking about you...you were doing it all wrong."
"Ah," I answered flatly. "Want to see my new earrings?"