Sometime in late 2000 or early 2001, I received a sample CD with a few new artists and songs. I didn't really love most of it, but there was a relatively new band called Mercy Me with a song called I Can Only Imagine, and I couldn't get enough of it.
At the time I was extremely pregnant with twins and after many years of trying to have a baby and a couple of emotional miscarriages, I was not one of those women who loved the "experience" of being pregnant. My goal was to get these kids born, hold them in my arms, and look into their tiny, miraculous faces.
Driving around, I would crank up the stereo in my Jeep Grand Cherokee (because at the time it was probably the nicest sound system I owned) and listen to I Can Only Imagine. I understand the song is about seeing Jesus, but at the time, I could only imagine what it would be like to see my children face to face and walk beside them. (well, push them in a stroller, but you get the idea).
Last weekend I went to the Rock and Worship Roadshow, a fantastic concert with an array of bands, the headlining one being Mercy Me. Ten, plus years ago, I could have never imagined what it would be like to stand in that arena and listen to that song live, and I surely couldn't imagine what it would be like to do it with my son there with me. I had longed to see his face and now we were worshipping together, side by side. It was a bittersweet moment, overwhelmingly thankful for the son who was with me and desperately longing to see the daughter that was not.
But one day, I will see her again, and not only her, but even more, Jesus. What a day that will be. I can only imagine...