There's a familiar song from church that says, "I'll go where you want me to go, Dear Lord..." I've been working on some decisions in my life lately that have been difficult to think through. I can't quite make the logic of them "work out" in my head. I can't figure out how to get all the pieces to come together neatly to ensure that the plan is sound. Try as I might, I can't see how it's even possible to do what I think God is calling me to do.
In the midst of my decision making, that song keeps playing in my head. Thinking about my trip to India earlier this year and pondering where else the Lord might want me to travel to, I find myself telling Him, I'll go where you want me to go, Lord. But even as I hear the words in my head, I realize that in my single dimension thinking, I'm only considering physical places the Lord might want me to go--a country, a continent, a city.
Today I had to ask myself the hard question of where God might want me to go and where He might want to take me that are not physical places. Maybe he wants to take me into uncertainty. Will I go there? Perhaps He wants to take me to a place of circumstantial or financial hardship. Will I go there? Will I follow Him to trouble, suffering, or sorrow? That's a much more difficult decision to make.
There's a quote I've heard and keep written on a 3x5 card. I realized this morning I haven't seen it in awhile and I think maybe the card has been buried in my desk amongst the papers, receipts, dried up highlighters, and other office supplies that live in my desk drawer. The quote says, "Anywhere we go with God, is a place of safety." Anywhere. That applies whether I travel to Africa or into the dark land of uncertainty where I don't understand what He is doing. Anywhere I go with him is safe. As long as He's with me.
So that leads me back to my original dilemma of decision making. I think I better go dig that card out of my desk drawer, post it on the fridge where it can remind me of God's provision for me, stop wavering, and decide if I'm really willing to "Go where you want me to go, Dear Lord".